Cleavage and Legoland: anatomy of a double-take

OK, readers. Here’s your chance to rise above the cheap culture of Hollywood, the rampant materialism, the violence, the cleavage that looks like molded plastic. Instead, we’re here to have a grown-up conversation about Legoland and — molded plastic that looks like cleavage.

A couple of weeks ago, as outlined in “Legoland’s own small world,” I headed off to the amusement park in Carlsbad with my wife, Mary Frances, and our 4-year-old daughter, Grace. None of us had been there before, and we were much taken with the Las Vegas area, which the theme park’s minions of miniaturism completed in 2007.

Among the wonders of this scaled-down Vegas is a quickie-wedding chapel (below). Now, thousands of visitors have probably strolled right past it, since it’s not as tall as the fake Eiffel Tower, as familiar as the fake New York, New York skyline, or as splashy as the faux hotel fountains. But it’s clever.

If you wait and watch, an aged groom (in tuxedo with cane) and young, blond bride come striding out of the chapel, headed for a waiting bus. The bride is wearing red boots and either a red miniskirt or hot pants, it’s hard to say. But what startled the three of us was the bride’s top.

There didn’t seem to be one.

But later, when I called about the apparent bare bulbousness, Legoland spokeswoman Julie Estrada assured me that nobody is topless in that little Las Vegas. The bride in question is wearing a white blouse, Estrada explained, and glancing quickly from a distance, we may have come away with a mistaken impression.

Maybe. The good news, readers, is that I also came away with a digital photo of the nuptials. So now you can render your own verdict: Is this a white blouse or an unbridled bride?

For the record, I’m not calling for a congressional investigation or an FCC fine, or even another coat of paint. I’m not even suggesting that Hooters needs to call its lawyers. I’m just amused. Meanwhile, Legoland’s Estrada has e-mailed with the official company line.

“The happy bride is definitely wearing a top and it is made of white LEGO bricks,” writes Estrada. “Her body is tan and the two pieces that are her bosom are built out of what is called a “Final Piece 2×2.”

“The picture is high enough resolution where I could zoom all the way in and see that the top is white, but I believe it is a “belly” shirt as the model builder made her tummy out of tan bricks. It is understandable why you might think otherwise from this photo as the picture was taken with her in a heavy shadow up to her neck in the picture and the colors do fade in time due to the wonderful sunny weather in San Diego.

“All of our mini-figures in Miniland U.S.A., as with all of our models in the Park, are all fully clothed. … Miniland Las Vegas is built as a great way for families with kids 2 - 12 to see and enjoy Las Vegas without any gambling, alcohol, smoke or nudity!”

— Christopher Reynolds/Los Angeles Times

[Photographs by Christopher Reynolds]

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This entry was posted on Thursday, November 20, 2008 at 4:43 pm by Christopher Reynolds and is filed under California, Family & Kids, Honeymoon, Spa & Romance, Legoland, Orange County, San Diego. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a comment, or trackback from your own site.