Foreign affairs: Where Gov. Mark Sanford should have been sleeping

Memo to: All American elected officials

From: Christopher Reynolds, Los Angeles Times travel writer

Regarding: National and international affairs

And: Where to have them

Hey, stuff happens, and sometimes a fella strays. Sometimes, a governor needs to spend Father’s Day weekend cheating on his wife in Argentina. But as South Carolina Republican Gov. Mark Sanford can now authoritatively say, South America is perhaps a bit too far to stray.

Then again, look at the stateside troubles of U.S. Sen. John Ensign, the Nevada Republican who just admitted a 2008 stateside affair with a campaign aide, or John Edwards, the philandering Democratic presidential hopeful from North Carolina. If you’re going to stray, U.S. territory might not be far enough away.

A prudent elected official seeks middle ground. And no, we don’t mean Las Vegas. Because deep down, don’t you suspect that what happens in Vegas ends up on video somewhere?

But we can help. Whatever your amatory outsourcing needs, gentlemen, we suggest you consider these assignation destinations. Or, you know, be good and stay home.

Guantanamo Bay Press banned and extra beds available soon.

Rome Long flight, but very romantic. And the media is so busy covering Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi’s high-level appointments of various attractive young women —and subsequent threats of divorce by his wife — that tailing you wouldn’t be worth the trouble.

Darien Gap, Panama Green and steamy. And since there are almost no paved roads, they’d never find you. Just don’t forget the mosquito repellent.

Asuncion, Paraguay Because they put the “para” in “paramour.”

Rio de Janeiro Incumbent mistress getting old? Browse Ipanema Beach for a successor.

Tijuana Lots of hotel vacancies. And prices have never been better for car upholstery, dentistry and cosmetic surgery.

Nuuk, Greenland Taste the reindeer. See the aurora borealis. Enjoy Nuuk nookie.

Niagara Falls, Ontario, Canada Because once you’ve pulled on those yellow rain slickers, you’ll be just another happy, hooded, damp couple.

The Cayman Islands Between flings, check your offshore accounts.

— Christopher Reynolds, Los Angeles Times staff writer

[Photo: The Spanish Steps in Rome, a very romantic city. Credit: Susan Spano / Los Angeles Times

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This entry was posted on Wednesday, June 24, 2009 at 4:04 pm by Christopher Reynolds and is filed under Airline travel, Europe, Honeymoon, Spa & Romance, Hotels, Las Vegas, Latin America & Caribbean, Mexico, News, Tips & Advice, Polar Regions. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a comment, or trackback from your own site.