Feeling squeezed in your airline seat? Dealing with space invaders on a plane
Question: One pervasive plane problem is when the person in front of you puts the seat back in the full recline position and leaves it there for the whole flight, which is particularly aggravating on a long intercontinental flight. This happened to us on a return trip from Paris. I asked our cabin attendant to help us. She refused. We paid full price for someone using our space. Shouldn’t passengers have more manners? Can anything be done?
– Helen Porter
Answer: Yes, something can be done — probably by you.
In a recent survey, TripAdvisor, the online travel rating system of travel providers that relies on feedback from regular Joes, found that more than 80% of respondents said airline passengers had become ruder in the last decade.
When asked what kinds of airline passengers were most annoying, almost 60% answered “oblivious parents.” And 46% said the full-bore boor is the person who reclines his seat during meal service.
So should you suffer in silence since you’re obviously the victim of all-about-me America?
P.M. Forni, author of “Choosing Civility” and “The Civility Solution,” thinks not. Incivility, he once told me in an interview, is a precursor to violence. I thought that a bit dramatic until I recalled a fistfight over space that broke out on my last flight to Europe.
Forni, who founded the Civility Initiative at Johns Hopkins, urges his readers to take responsibility for handling the insensitive souls of the world, by taking responsibility for one’s own psychic well-being.
“Responding to rudeness is an art,” he once said in an interview. “It has to do with the ability of balancing self-respect and respect for others. It has to do with the ability to exercise self-restraint but at the same time being assertive.
“Assertiveness,” he added, “is part of civility.”
That means making your wishes known, but without crossing the line. For instance, “Hey, space-hogging jerkface” probably sets the wrong tone. Saying, “Excuse me, sir, I don’t know if you realize this, but when the seat is reclined it’s almost like being strapped down. I wonder whether I might persuade you to move your seat up — at least part of the way.” If you give him a little psychological wiggle room, he just might give you some.
If you lack the courage to confront, you can go immediately to passive-aggressive with the Knee Defender, a gadget that clips to your seat tray and keeps Mr. Jerkface from reclining. They cost $15 a pair at GadgetDuck.
Good manners or clandestine gadgets? One may further world peace while the other merely preserves a piece of your world. Your choice.
– Catharine Hamm, Los Angeles Times Travel editor
[Graphic: Scott Garrett / For The Los Angeles Times]
40 Comments on “Feeling squeezed in your airline seat? Dealing with space invaders on a plane”
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December 3rd, 2008 at 5:49 pm
It’s one thing to be assertive when the passenger next to you places his or her elbow into your space. It’s something else, however, when people feel like they can complain because the seat in front of them is reclined. I see absolutely nothing rude about reclining one’s seat. After all, it’s designed to do just that.
If that’s all you have to complain about in this world, congratulations!
December 3rd, 2008 at 6:14 pm
I haven’t traveled internationally in a long time, but seats on domestic flight stopped reclining more than a few inches many years ago. I think the airlines made the adjustment. I find it annoying that I can’t lean back much.
December 3rd, 2008 at 7:17 pm
Well apparently I’ve been flying like a jerk on every flight, as here I thought reclining was the practice of a majority of passengers. There are more legit ways to be rude besides using the seat recline button.
December 3rd, 2008 at 7:31 pm
I could not disagree more strongly with the questioner and Ms. Hamm. The problem is that there is NO universal agreement that reclining is rude. Reclining is obviously allowed, or else seats wouldn’t recline. No, I don’t like it when someone reclines in front of me, but I would never presume to ask them not to. I believe it is their right. There are many tall people (like my husband) who are physically uncomfortable if they can’t gain these extra few inches.
This should not be an issue that pits passenger against passenger. This should unite ALL passengers against airline management. The problem is that rows are crammed too tightly together, making everyone feel claustrophobic and cranky. So please, let people recline if they need to.
You know what? Your own seat reclines, too, so sit back and relax yourself. You were way out of line to ask the flight attendant to intervene–I truly believe that Ms. Porter was the rude passenger in this story.
December 3rd, 2008 at 7:36 pm
Most, if not all airlines forbid the use of the Knee Defender. As for my position, I have the right to recline my seat as much and for as long as I want. I paid for the entire seat. I will, however, move the seat to the upright position when a meal is served.
December 3rd, 2008 at 8:38 pm
If the reclining person is that insensitive and closed to compromise what is wrong with continually kicking the seat back? Being cramped in like that just gives your leg a smasm that you can’t control?
December 3rd, 2008 at 9:10 pm
As a 6 foot tall woman, I have to say that the non-existent distance between my knees and the seat in front of me is a necessity, not a luxury. When the seat in front of me is completely upright, my knees are still pressed into the seatback. That is supremely uncomfortable to start with. But when that person then reclines their seat, the situation becomes dire. I am literally pinned in my seat. Many times I have ended up in pain from someone reclining so quickly I didn’t have time to get out of the way. Why should I have to suffer so you can be more comfortable? Why is your comfort more important than mine?
If I can diagnose your dandruff problem and count the hairs remaining on the top of your head when you recline your seat in front of me, you are just too close. Reclining my seat doesn’t help with my knees and just creates a problem for those behind me.
I honestly wish airlines would just lock coach seats in the upright position.
December 3rd, 2008 at 9:31 pm
On a long flight, everyone wants to sleep or simply relax for a bit. You have to use all of the miniscule recline in a coach seat to do that. Solution 1: recline your seat also. Solution 2: On the few flights that still have meals, see if you can work it out with the other person ahead.
Real solution: Fly business class or a better airline, like JetBlue.
December 3rd, 2008 at 9:33 pm
A reclined seat does not invade the personal space of the person behind. They can simply recline their own seat to maintain the default face-to-seatback distance.
Whining over a reclined seat is what’s uncivil.
What’s truly rude and indefensible is Knee Defender. The person whose seat is prevented from reclining has every right to break it in two.
Phil
December 3rd, 2008 at 10:04 pm
Please note that United Airlines specifically prohibits the use of any device that prevents passengers from reclining their seats, i.e. Knee Defender.
I suspect other US airlines have a similar policy.
Use these devices at your own risk.
December 3rd, 2008 at 11:04 pm
As a flight attendant I always ask passengers to place there seats upright during the meal service.
However its very difficult to persuade people not to recline during other stages of flight. They have paid for a seats that reclines after all, maybe just recline your seat too.
December 3rd, 2008 at 11:22 pm
i have a brilliant solution!
why don’t you, instead of feeling like a helpless victim who has just been wronged immensely, choose to recline YOUR seat back as well?
if you do that, then you will have the exact same amount of room you had before the selfish bastard in front of you felt the need to relax a bit, and you might also loosen up and the flight and the world in general might suddenly become much more tolerable. i’m sure the person behind you won’t feel as ridiculously bothered by it as you were.
December 3rd, 2008 at 11:24 pm
if some one reclines their seat back and it bothers me i shove it forward to its original position. i recommend it and when they recline again repeat as needed to get the message across. if they call the flight attendant i tell him or her about the recent knee surgery i’m recovering from.
December 3rd, 2008 at 11:54 pm
When the person in front of you reclines and you think of them as “Mr Jerkface,” guess what? The boor is not the person in front of you. The boor is YOU.
When you get on the plane and see a flight full of whiny brats and bad parents and inconsiderate boors itching to invade your personal space, well, that’s what you get.
When you get on the plane and see a flight full of normal, good people, and you see everyone trying to do their best in unusual and cramped quarters, you don’t take offense.
And to me, that’s the big issue here. I don’t see someone reclining their chair as them invading my space. I see them as someone reclining their chair. And yes, it affects me. Um, so what? That’s how it is on planes. You know the solution for this problem? Upgrade to First Class. Otherwise, accept Coach for what it is. COACH.
December 4th, 2008 at 12:02 am
The Knee Defender gadget is a nasty, rude device. Listen. If you are tall and your knees stick out so they are hit when I recline fully, or you want to use the tray table but are portly, so the tray hits you when I recline, I am sorry. This is not my fault. Why should I not sleep for the whole trip because I happen to have a tall or portly person sitting behind me? Having a seat recline so you can sleep on the plane is a much more reasonable expectation than being a tall or portly person and expecting no problems on a plane. The airlines are the ones to blame, and using Knee Defenders doesn’t do anything to deal with their habit of putting seats too close to each other.
December 4th, 2008 at 1:02 am
Much worse than the space-hoggers are the screaming kids that make everyone’s life a misery, particularly on long-haul flights.
Couldn’t airlines consider a “kids and parents only” section?
Or even better, adults-only flights.
December 4th, 2008 at 1:07 am
I have a bad back and must travel frequently in spite of it. I must recline the seat, otherwise, I suffer terrible pain. Airlines have reduced the amount of leg room between seats in order to crowd more seats onto the plane — so if you have a complaint about the seat in front of you coming into your ’space’, you should complain to the airline. It’s they who have ’stolen’ your breathing room, not the poor person in front of you who has also paid for the seat and has the right to be as comfortable as possible, especially on long-haul flights.
December 4th, 2008 at 1:08 am
I don’t see how its rude to recline ones seat. They are made to recline, I’ve also paid for my seat, part of that seat is the part that reclines. I should have to sit erect for an entire flight because someone behind me doesn’t like it?
What if the person in front of me has their seat reclined? I should then have zero space to accomodate the person behind me?
If people have a problem with this can they not choose the seats behind the row of seats that don’t recline?
December 4th, 2008 at 4:11 am
Ah yes. Two immediate examples of rude inconsiderate thinking right from the start. Yes, Mike & Alex, the world is all about you. Your comfort and desires are far more important that the knees of people behind you. You sound like people that would loudly yak on cellphones for the entire trip if it were allowed. It’s been said many times, but here is a prime example of people who just don’t get it.
December 4th, 2008 at 4:55 am
I have five levels of arthritis in my neck and two levels of spinal stenosis, one of which is severe, in my lower back. If I could not recline my seat back on a flight, I would shortly be in pain that could become severe. Fortunately, almost every airline seat on almost every airline in the world can be reclined.
When the seat in front of me reclines, I adjust and accomodate. Accomodation is a thing reasonable adults who cannot afford a private jet and must share cramped spaces do. Complaining, crying, whining, and becoming agressive are things that children and socially undeveloped people do.
December 4th, 2008 at 6:27 am
I thought this article was going to be about armrest issues. I believe we are all well within rights to operate the seat adjustment controls as designed.
December 4th, 2008 at 6:31 am
When I have the middle seat I always make sure to occupy both arm rests, recline the seat for the whole flight, and listen to my ipod so loud that you can hear every song even though I wear headphones (so I don’t have to hear my screaming kids). And people get angry. They’re way too sensitive!
December 4th, 2008 at 6:52 am
I am 6′3” and there is nothing worse in this world than someone in front of me reclining all the way back on a flight. It is to the point where it is physically painful and hugely annoying.
My main techinique is to immediately react by tapping said person on the arm and saying ‘excuse me but i’m really tall and i can’t move if you do that, could you please move your seat up a bit?’
This always has an immediate impact, but about 50% of the time, the seat comes crawling backwards slowly but surely.
yes, the seats are designed to recline, but how can you say this isn’t rude if you’re bothering the person behind you? Cars are designed to drive fast and stereos can be played full blast, but most people in this world don’t do either out of common sense. Reclining back on an airplane should be no different.
December 4th, 2008 at 7:32 am
Having a seat recline isn’t too bad unless you’re six feet or more tall. My husband has dealt with this issue on nearly every flight he’s ever taken. The rails of the seat ride each knee and he can’t adjust his position to find any comfort. For me, with bad knees and bad hip, I have to grab the head cushion of the offending slouch to be able to get up to use the lavatory. But I have asked people if they’d mind scooting up, and no one has been rude or rigid.
December 4th, 2008 at 7:46 am
I don’t begrudge anyone reclining their seat, either part-time or full-time. After all, just like me, they’re paying for a seat that (with any luck) reclines. I can’t be second guessing when someone would prefer that I don’t recline my seat so why should I expect someone else to read my mind, as well? Unless you’re flying Business or First Class, you simply must have the expectation that someone will recline on you and that this is a part of the flying these days. If you can’t accept that than either pay for an upgrade or don’t fly.
December 4th, 2008 at 8:12 am
wow all these responses are from the morons i’ve encountered. when someone reclines excessively, to the point that it invades my space, i get out my cell phone and play an annoying sound i have recorded. i play it repeatedly until everyone complains and the morons realize there is a balance of power.
December 4th, 2008 at 8:16 am
i am puzzled by the statement “We paid full price for someone using our space” i have always thought that the space used by the seats when they recline is of the recliners… in other words the seats are designed to recline and that is you should be able to use them when ever you like…. i do travel a lot and i will bring my seat forward when the meals are served… but before and after i believe it should be my prerogative on where the back of my seat is.. i am amazed that someone would have the gall to think otherwise…. am i wrong?
December 4th, 2008 at 8:20 am
The FAA and airlines are to blame. They’ve been shrinking space on planes for years to allow the airlines to cram more passengers onboard. They should be sued for false imprisonment or infliction of emotional distress.
December 4th, 2008 at 8:26 am
Reclining your seat during non-meal times is NOT rude. If you are that tall, fat, and bothered about it, buy a Business or First Class seat and stop your sense of entitlement and whining.
December 4th, 2008 at 8:56 am
The option to recline is there for a reason, so stop complaining … problems arise when a fatty sits next to you, spills over into your seat, eats giant smelly hoagie’s and snors the entire way that you should begin to worry and consider complaining to a flight attendant. I speak from personal experience!
December 4th, 2008 at 9:00 am
I am going to print this article with the responses and pin it to the back of my airline seat. This way I can stave off the smoldering anger of the passenger behind me as I try to get some sleep on a long hall flight.
December 4th, 2008 at 9:15 am
It is utterly obvious from these comments that rudeness is a result of epidemic self-absorbness.
Everyone in his response mentions I, me, myself and so on. . .if I want to move my seat back . . . or my knees, or I have to hear kids, etc. etc. etc.
If these people extended the same logic to their parents, their parents would have abandoned them because raising them was such a pain. I have to say, you people really deserve each other.
December 4th, 2008 at 9:21 am
I frequently fly oversees. Surely when the lights go out four hours into my flight I’m expected to recline and nap?
December 4th, 2008 at 8:56 pm
I fly internationally frequently and have never come across a flight attendant who is unwilling to help when the person in front of you has their seat fully reclined whilst you’re trying to eat. In my experience, if you say you’ve got a problem, they’ll do their upmost to help you. I agree that it’s within everyone’s rights to recline their seat on a long-haul flight - just as long as they don’t go for it whilst I’m trying to eat dinner!
December 7th, 2008 at 8:50 am
I find the response to the Space Invaders letter irresponsible. There are weeks due to my job I will fly nine flights in seven days. I am usually very tired and like to recline my seat (that I have paid full price for as well) to catch some much needed rest. For you to recommend the purchase of a device from prohibiting the recline of a seat is sure to start a fight in mid- air. If you want things to change write to the airlines with your complaint.
December 7th, 2008 at 9:43 am
This complaint and response to it are ridiculous. The “space” Ms. Potter says she purchased excludes the maximum space that the seat in front of her takes up. That max space is is the seat in its fully reclined position.
I recently flew internationally and made the mistake of purchasing an exit row seat, which does not recline. I was miserable for over eight hours because every time I tried to doze my head bobbled all around. I keep my seat in the upright position during take off and landing, and during meal times, but after that it’s bed time and I will recline.
December 7th, 2008 at 3:39 pm
I can’t help thinking the people who complained just don’t travel much. They certainly don’t travel much on long flights.
There are only three things to do on a long, long flight: watch videos, read, or sleep. For all three of those, the reclining position is the best one. I agree that it is rude to recline when people behind you are eating. You will notice that flight attendants always tell people to move their seat backs up then. And only then.
Planes are always full these days. That means if these complainers had their way, no one would ever be able to recline a seat on a 16-hour flight. Who’s being selfish?
The easy solution is to RECLINE YOUR OWN SEAT!! Live and let live, my dears
Voila, problem solved.
Of course, the real culprit is the airlines that think it’s acceptable to cram people in like sardines on long flights.
December 8th, 2008 at 3:06 pm
Clearly I am in the minority on this, but I think it is incredibly rude to recline your seat. I am 6′5″and will politely try to persuade people to scoot up a bit.
December 8th, 2008 at 8:45 pm
When you purchase a ticket you receive several thing, one is a seat that allows a seat to fully recline.
It should be a CRIME if the person seating behind you puts an ILLEGAL device ( Knee Defender ) behind your seat preventing you to fully recline. What’s worse is the person behind you still has the option to recline their seat !!
I travel a lot and expect all kinds of behavior while I travel and anticipate the seat in front of me to not only recline but to do so in a slamming motion which can spill my drink and break my laptop screen while placed on the pull down table… what do i do, I use my laptop on my lap and move on with my life.
This devices should be banned and if I find the person behind me uses one it will be WW III
My 2 cents.
January 23rd, 2009 at 12:54 pm
What does everyone suggest when it is simply impossible for the person in fron to recline - I am 6′3″ and if the person chooses to recline it is not going to happen. Even if I recline my own seat my legs still are too long to allow for the seat in front to recline. If the person in front tries to recline with force I dont use Knee Defender I use my arms and push the seat off my knees. Moving seats or cutting my legs off would solve the problem.