Airline Passengers Bill of Rights & football. Or basketball?

Four senators held a press conference in Washington, D.C., this morning to call for a vote on a federal Airline Passengers Bill of Rights, which would require airlines to provide water, food and a bathroom to travelers stuck on the tarmac. The proposal, supported by consumer rights groups and opposed by the airline lobby, has been stranded since passing through committee.

The senators — standing with consumer rights activist Kate Hanni from Napa, Calif. — said they wanted to … well, insert your favorite cliché sports metaphor here. Score a basket? Get into the end zone? Make it to the finish line?

While they agreed on the issues, they couldn’t agree on just what kind of team they were.

N.Y. Democrat Charles Schumer took the podium to call this week’s hundreds of flight cancellations by American Airlines “appalling” and “unacceptable.”

Then he started talking football … sort of.

“They put the ball in our lap, and here we are — led by quarterback Boxer,” he said, referring to California’s Barbara Boxer. Of course, having the ball in your “lap” isn’t a football term, though you can have the ball in your court in basketball.

Trying to make other participants feel included in the huddle, he began to strain the analogy.

It sounded like he called N.J. Democrat Frank Lautenberg “the lead end” — which is not an actual football position.

“And Olympia Snowe,” he said, pausing to think about how to describe the lone Republican on the team under the glare of the TV lights, is “playing the entire defense.”

“Which she’s capable of doing,” he quickly added.

“And Ms. Hanni is the, um, owners’ box leading us on,” he said, haltingly.

“Lest I get carried away any further, I’m going to my notes,” he said, eliciting laughs in seeming recognition of the farfetched metaphors.

“I didn’t want to say tight end,” he said, “because I’m the closest to that of anyone here.”

When Lautenberg took the podium minutes later, he revived the sports talk.

“I don’t want to try to assign the positions that Chuck did,” he said, “because we’re more or less like a basketball team than a football team.”

“You know I can’t always figure out sports metaphors,” Snowe of Maine said when it was her turn to speak, “but let me just say I know we’re a winning team and that’s what it’s all about.”

– James Hohmann, Los Angeles Times Staff Writer

[Photo: Sen. Barbara Boxer, D-Calif., left, talks with Sen. Charles Schumer, D-N.Y. at the news conference Thursday about the Airline Passengers Bill of Rights. Lauren Victoria Burke, Associated Press]

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This entry was posted on Thursday, April 10, 2008 at 6:28 pm by Mary Forgione and is filed under Business Travel, Frequent Flier, News, Tips & Advice. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a comment, or trackback from your own site.