How to do Walt Disney World like a grown-up

A park-by-park guide to attractions with adult appeal.

By Alan Solomon, Chicago Tribune Reporter
12:06 PM PDT, March 11, 2008

Walt Disney World for grownups

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LAKE BUENA VISTA, Fla. -- OK, boys and girls, including all you chiffon-wearing princesses -- it's time to go to your rooms and close your eyes and dream of whatever it is little darlings dream about these days.

They gone? Good.

Fellow adults, we're going to spend some time talking about Walt Disney World for grownups.

There are people, and you know who you are, who only come to Disney World hauling kids with them. Nothing wrong with that. I've done Disney with kids and lived. So has Larry Mayer.

Mayer is a Chicago businessman with the look of a guy who might remember the words to "The Ballad of Davy Crockett." He was here a few weeks ago enjoying Disney's Animal Kingdom with a lady of his generation -- and without a tyke in tow.

"The first time I went to Disneyland," Mayer said, "I told people it's better for grownups than it is for kids. Disneyland and, more, Disney World are just wonderful. We marvel at what went into this ..."

Then he and his companion, Donna Broder, watched a magnificent tiger splash playfully in the moat of an absolutely convincing but totally fake Indian temple ruin. They were entranced, and they were right to be.

Now, kids might recognize the tiger as "a tiger," even if it didn't bounce like Tigger. The temple part and its astonishing degree of spot-on detail -- that, folks, is for us.

So are the margaritas at Epcot's Mexican pavilion, the songs at Pleasure Island's Irish pub and Rod Serling's remarkable (especially for a dead guy) guest shot at Disney Hollywood's Twilight Zone Tower of Terror.

And so is the pan-roasted foie gras with mostarda di Cremona at Victoria & Albert's -- a restaurant where small children, who wouldn't know foie gras from mashed bananas, are no longer allowed, period. Before we begin, though, we must address an obvious problem: What, for the purposes of this article, is a grownup? For that definition, we quote Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart, who was, of course, referring to something else: "I know it when I see it."

Here we go.

Epcot

Everyone knows about the country pavilions. If you squint a little, you can almost talk yourself into thinking you actually are in Marrakech -- unless of course you've actually been there, in which case you know it's way too orderly. And so it is with almost all the international stops in Epcot.

Exceptions to the unrealism: The market space that's part of the China Pavilion is an absolute ringer for some of the country's traditional tourist-centric "friendship" stores; the same pavilion's exhibit of the Terra Cotta Army, though scaled down, is astonishingly accurate; the same pavilion's acrobats are just like (and, of course, probably are) Shanghai's; and the pub part of the Rose & Crown in the United Kingdom Pavilion is perfect. All of which, except maybe the acrobats, will bore children, also perfect.

And the Paris and Venice mockups aren't bad. If you squint.

Back to our theme. Kids won't go for this -- too many strange foods -- but it's possible for grownups to eat and/or drink their way around the world without leaving the World Showcase or waiting for a table. (This probably qualifies, by the way, as a Stupid Grownup Trick.)

Within a couple of hours, I sampled and mostly enjoyed, in order: guacamole (Mexico; $2.95), lefse (Norway; $1.99), pot stickers (China; $4.99), a fat pretzel ($3.29) and a Beck's beer ($7; both at Germany), a cannoli (Italy; $3.99), miso soup (Japan; $2.29), mint tea (Morocco, $2) and a Boddington ale (England; $3.95). Skipped noshing in France (the lines for wine and crepes were too long) and Canada (there are limits).

All the above, by the way, kept me from sampling the full-service, probably too-cher-for-kids Bistro de Paris in the France Pavilion. C'est la ... something.

A couple of good rides (and, yes, there are rides at Epcot), including one adults absolutely should not miss: Mission: SPACE puts you at the controls, sort of, of a space vehicle under the leadership of Gary Sinise. It's a decent experience that kids won't understand and, unlike others of the genre, it won't make you puke -- but that's not the great one.

Soarin' -- the unmissable -- is absolutely wonderful. It's all euphoria. It's also low impact, for the ride wary and bad-of-back. People who have problems with heights might hesitate to do this, but they should just grab somebody's hand and hang on. That's all I'm going to tell you. Trust me.

Disney's Hollywood Studios

This was formerly Disney-MGM Studios, which in fact looked (and looks) like a Mickey Mouse version of Universal Orlando's Hollywood layout. (Both, for example, have a Brown Derby topped by a giant brown derby -- or did until Universal's Brown Derby Hat Shop was shut down. This Disney one is a slightly upscale restaurant.)

Grownups will be attracted to the mock Grauman's/Mann's Chinese Theatre, where they can walk in the real footsteps of Julie Andrews and Dick Van Dyke and hop on The Great Movie Ride. Do the footsteps and skip the ride, essentially a tram ride through a wax museum. (The film montage at the end is pretty good. But …)

There are two major thrill rides: the Rockin' Roller Coaster and, at the end of mock Sunset Boulevard, the Twilight Zone Tower of Terror. Didn't ride this roller coaster, but Jeff Hoover, 46, a coaster buff from Minneapolis, did. "Once is enough," he said as, wobbly of leg, he exited the area. "It's harder and harder ... " Your call.

But don't miss the Tower of Terror. If you've ever wondered how it would feel to be the ice in a martini shaker (and who hasn't?), you'll get your answer here.

"Indiana Jones' Epic Stunt Spectacular" isn't quite epic but is a fun little show and a good excuse to get off your feet for a bit and watch things explode. If you have any problems at all with motion sickness, avoid the Star Wars flight simulator.

But here's the sleeper: The Magic of Disney Animation. It begins with a little mini-presentation featuring a congenial live animator and the cartoon dragon from "Mulan" (voiced by Eddie Murphy) that isn't as funny as it thinks it is.

The cool thing, though, is in the interactive area, where you -- yes, you -- can lend your voice to some of your favorite cartoon moments. Suddenly, instead of Jerry Colonna (as the March Hare) singing "A Very, Merry Un-Birthday" to Alice, of Wonderland, it's you! Strangers will stare and children will run for their parents, but that's their problem.

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