ALASKA
Reindeer, it's what's for dinner in Alaska
Dear Santa,
I know it's been a while -- 45 years maybe -- since I've written. I also know it's your off-season. How are the Hamptons? Those New Yorkers driving you nuts yet?
Listen, I have a serious reason for writing. I'm here in
Dude, they're eating your herd.
At breakfast, there's reindeer sausage. At lunch, reindeer hot dogs. Dinner is reindeer soup or stew. I never knew they even served that stuff, did you? Did Rudolph? Have you talked to Rudolph lately?
To be honest, I'm from L.A., and I thought reindeer were some
The locals insist that the reindeer are being farmed, so it's no big deal. I don't find that comforting at all. What's next? Elf farms?
Anyway, just wanted you to be aware of this. In two days, I'm going to Fairbanks. If you like, I can stop by the North Pole and hide Rudolph and the rest. It's the least I can do. You're an important guy, Santa. I'd just hate to see you flying commercial.
 Should we take offense, order a drink, or what? That depends, of course, on where you think these words turned up. |
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